April is Sexual Assault Awareness month. We have so many monthly themes now to recognize different causes that I feel like there’s a numbing out to any awareness, unless it has impacted you (or someone you love) directly. And that’s fine. If we cared about every single thing out there that breaks our heart, we’d feel depleted. Be mindful and protect/conserve your energy for the things that matter to you.
For those who have been impacted by sexual assault, you’re not alone. Unfortunately, there are so many people out there that have been hurt in this way – most often by close family or friends. The more I speak of the incidences that have happened to me, the more I hear from others who have experienced the same.
I do believe that everyone can recover and rise after any incident of trauma, including sexual assault. You just have to believe that it’s possible, and be dedicated to your healing through modalities that speak to you.
There are different layers to this process.
The physical or somatic (in the body) layer, that needs to release the stored traumatic energy from the body. This is where practices like TRE (trauma release exercises), myofascial release, and yoga really help. A lot of adrenaline and cortisol get released when we feel that we are in danger. For many who have experienced sexual trauma, the energy that needed to be used to flee did not get to run its course…because we were trapped by our assailant. So this energy remains stored in our body, stuck there for years.
For me, releasing the stored trauma from the body through TRE (trauma release exercises), myofascial release, and yoga really helped. There were a handful of times after these exercises when I was flooded with tears, a good release in hindsight. I needed to let out the pain in that way. But 90% of the time, my body was doing the work of releasing without me having to go into a story about what it was releasing, or feeling overwhelmed by any emotion. It was purely somatic releases of deeply stored energy that needed to be released.
The emotional layer. Part of the physical release also led to emotional release, which was great. I don’t cry easily (from having to repress my emotions as a child), so I was grateful for the times when I could cry. Working with somatic therapists also helped because they guided me to feel into parts of my body where I unknowingly stored the pain, in order to release it. I can highly recommend 1-on-1 somatic breathwork and somatic experiencing therapists for this. This is where the physical ties in with the emotional. (It’s all connected anyway, right?)
The mental layer. I was able to understand why each of the people who hurt me did what they did through plant medicine experiences. I know plant medicine isn’t for everyone, but this is what truly led me to understand the whole picture of what happened each time. I didn’t seek out plant medicine because I wanted to understand what happened. In fact, these were repressed memories that were revealed to me during the plant medicine ceremonies. I’m grateful to have been shown what had happened to me as a child, because it helped me to understand why I had certain fears that didn’t seem to have an origin. In knowing the root cause of these fears, I could then work on healing and releasing these energies of fear, anger, rage, and pain. Essentially, clearing myself.
The spiritual layer. This layer is entwined with the mental and emotional. In releasing my pain and anger (through all the above modalities), I was able to come to a place of forgiveness. This may not be a point that everyone gets to, and that’s perfectly ok. I never forced myself to forgive any of these people. It just came naturally for 2 of them. There is one person where I have come to a place of understanding, but not forgiveness…and I’m ok with that. For the ones that I came to forgive, this letting go has led me to feel more free and whole.
In addition to a lot of somatic work (to feel and release stuck emotions) and plant medicine, inner child work, art therapy, and journaling have also helped me to process the events that happened – writing out whatever it was I felt and thought with no filter. Needless to say, there were a lot of curse words in my journal!
Releasing the stored emotions is crucial in healing sexual trauma. There are healthy ways to release and unhealthy ways. I have seen people take their frustrations and anger out on others. Obviously unhealthy and unhelpful to all those involved.
Here are some ways I’ve released that have helped my healing healing process:
- TRE (trauma release exercises)
- Self-myofascial release
- Breathwork
- Yin yoga
- Feeling into where the pain is in my body, and screaming it out from the origin point – when I’m by myself at home or in the car. (Yup, crazy lady screaming her head off in the car…that’s ok, they’ll never see me again.)
- Journaling
- Crying (a necessary part of releasing the pain). If you think that crying is a sign of weakness, think again. It is a sign of strength to be able to let go and be that vulnerable. Salt water is cleansing and purifying. That’s why we cry salty tears. It’s our body’s way to cleanse and purify our emotional and spiritual body.
- Inner Child Work
- Art therapy
My hope is that anyone who has experienced sexual trauma knows that they can RECOVER and RISE. We do not have to live as “victims” of sexual assault. We do not have to identify ourselves as that either, because we are so much more than that. Sexual assault was unfortunately something that we experienced, and for some of us, repeatedly. But it does not define us. So we do what we need to do to release, recover, and RISE to the greatness of who we truly are.
This article is merely a blueprint guide of methods that helped me free myself. For those who have had similar experiences, I hope some of these methods will help you too.
You do not have to do the recovery work alone. I sure didn’t. If you need some guidance along the way, I am here, offering 1:1 guided healing sessions. To see if we’re a good fit, you can book a discovery call by clicking the Phone below.
